It’s not uncommon to think that succeeding in business might come at the cost of our romantic life. But if we look around, we will see numerous people who have attained extraordinary success in doing work that they are passionate about in their respective fields as well as maintaining a healthy and uplifting romantic partnership.
The key lies in paying equal attention to both your work and your relationship. Where our focus goes, energy flows. Like our professional journey, even our relationship journey requires us to show up every day and do the work.
The values that drive business success are quite opposite to the ones that help build healthy relationships. Business requires exceptional cognitive bandwidth and making logical choices, whereas relationships involve emotional intelligence and letting go of control. As Chris Donaghue, Ph.D., a therapist with a practice in Los Angeles, and co-host of CBS’s Loveline with Amber Rose Podcast, points out, “Business values are not same as healthy relational values, and they are often in complete opposition. Business often requires no emotionality and is all about being rational, productive and answering, ‘What is this going do for me?’ Personal relationships are the opposite: They are going to do nothing for you! Just being is your only goal, and you often can’t schedule for it. The person who built an empire must unlearn much of what made them so successful if they want their relationship to work.”
In addition, sustaining romantic relationships requires an incredible amount of humility. It doesn’t matter how wealthy you are, how successful you are, how attractive you are, or how many friends and connections you have, you have to let go of your ego. The key to thriving in your personal life is to always treat your partner as an equal. You may be the most important person in your workplace, but it does not apply as soon as enter your home.
Last but not least, keeping relationships healthy and happy requires fine-tuning our social circle and letting go of the validation that we get from social media. We can’t undermine the fact that the people we surround ourselves with have a great influence on our lives. And when we focus on minimalism both in real life as well as in the digital world, we step away from the insignificant and superfluous and focus on the essentials. We eliminate distractions, temptations and empty materialistic desires, and pay attention to what’s truly important. In a nutshell, it pays off to have peers that focus on meaning and contribution in their lives.
At the end of the day, attracting extraordinary success both in our professional and personal lives is all about being a good human. If you think from your heart and become a conduit of love both in business and in relationships, you’ll be far ahead of the rest of the crowd on this planet.