Sometimes, in order for a particular relationship to survive and thrive, we need to create a distance between ourselves and the other person. This is important not only to revive the relationship, but also for maintaining our own calm and sanity.
It may be easy for some and extremely difficult for others to let go of the other person, but it’s something that needs to be done. If the proximity of someone triggers negative emotions inside you (from your past), crushes your mood or takes you in the downward spiral and forces you to become a worse version of yourself, then that association is not healthy.
It’s important to secure our peace of mind, and if a relationship threatens it, then we need to take some action. We need to let go of the other person in situations of crisis so that we can get into a calm state and better equip ourselves to resolve issues. We need space to align with our Inner Being, our Wiser Self, and do some soul searching and brainstorm effective solutions.
With distance, as we get in touch with the love that we have for the other person again and step away from the hate, we let go of our hurt, resentment and anger and are able to attain clarity and understand the other person better.
The optimal distance varies with each relationship. It may range from a few steps to thousands of miles. Once we figure it out, we need to work consistently towards maintaining it.
Sometimes, we may get so stuck that it may not be even possible for us to create an optimal distance. In that case, we need to do our best and find healthier and innovative ways to maintain a good distance between ourselves and the person who’s troubling us.
Instead of beating ourselves up and working hard to finding solutions to fix the issues in our relationships, it’s better to let go of the other person. This will go against our momentum, but it will help us greatly. It may cause fear and discomfort to arise within us, but it’s necessary. As C.S. Lewis said, “Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to go forward.”
Distance does not mean that we stop loving, respecting, or supporting the other person, but it means we’re positioning ourselves at a place so that we’re able to do all those things.
The optimal distance may minimize over time, or may not, and we’ll discover that over time. But we would always need it so that there is peace and harmony both in our relationships and in our lives.