express negative reactions privately

It’s tempting to get into an argument, to pick a fight, to prove someone wrong on their face but it never leads to any good. Even worse, we end up regretting our words, actions or behaviors. These are times when it’s best to let go of ‘being right’ and instead choose happiness and peace.

Of course, when someone disrespects us or treats us in a despicable way, we can gently express our concern, but we need to stay away from getting into an ugly fight, and not let it harm our mind, heart, health and spirit. It’s easier said than done, but with practice and persistence, we can get better at this.

There were occasions when Abraham Lincoln got infuriated and pissed off with a subordinate, a friend or even one of his generals. But instead of talking it out on on that person’s face directly, he chose a better and healthier alternative. Lincoln would write a long letter explaining his point of view; he would outline his case, show them why and where they were wrong, and what he wanted them to know and understand. Once we was done writing the letter, he would fold it up and put it in his desk drawer and never send it. No one found those letters, and some of them that were later found only survived by happenstance and chance.

He knew that fighting back was easy and tempting, but he was also aware that it never led to any better outcome. It’s easy to get seduced to give a piece of our  mind and reveal to the other person the true facts, but in the end we always wish we hadn’t done that. We can all look at our past and think of the times when we let our negative emotions get the better of us, the times we expressed our anger, rage, resentment and disappointment. There were no favorable outcomes and no benefits. They were futile attempts that only led us to harm and repentance.

Instead of taking the same unhealthy route, we can chose a higher way and express our negative reactions privately ensuring the perpetuation of peace and happiness in our relationships.