In relationships, sometimes we attach our happiness to the other person. And when we do this, it always leads to suffering.
Our relationships may contribute towards making us happy, but happiness, in its essence, transcends relationships.
Instead of relying on the other person and their behaviors to make us happy, we need to take charge of our own happiness. Only then our relationship with that person will become better and healthier.
This is an essential truth that we need to learn and be aware of even as we form new relationships. If you’re someone who is single and unhappy and if you meet someone who is single and equally unhappy, it’s wrong to expect that once both of you get into a relationship, you’ll finally become happy. One unhappiness plus another unhappiness never equals happiness. The first step to forming any kind of healthy relationship is that you need to be happy with and by yourself first. You need to be happy and grateful for who you are. Only then, you’ll be attract another happy person, making both you of you happy in the relationship.
When we tie our happiness to someone else, it never serves us. Of course, this doesn’t mean we need to become numb and emotionless humanoids in our relationships. Sure, when the other person faces obstacles, gets upset or is sad, or when we get into a fight or go through a heartbreak, it’s human to feel those negative emotions. But we need to train ourselves to not let them intrude our own personal happiness. Happiness is subtle and always present within us, but we can’t let someone else become its gatekeeper not letting us access it when we want to.
Our happiness only depends on us, and the sooner we accept this truth and start living it, the better we’ll able to manage our interactions and our relationships.