the honest trap

Most of us preface our conversations with “To be honest with you…” or “I’ll be honest with you…” There’s no harm in saying those phrases, but when we start our sentences with them, we unknowingly fall into a trap.

If we’re starting with these phrases that endorse our honesty or directness, what does it communicate about everything else that we say in our daily lives? Without us realizing, we communicate that our honesty is only reserved for certain occasions.

What if we let go of saying these words in our conversations and simply create a reputation and life that is enriched with honesty. Instead of using phrases like  “No offence but…” and “I’ll be direct with you…” repeatedly, we can be straightforward and state our opinions expecting the other person to be well aware of our honesty.

When we live this way, we become both bankable and trustworthy in the eyes of other people. We become like a contract where other people know exactly what they’re getting into before signing it.

We don’t have to talk and live the way the majority of people in our culture and society do. We can simply carve our identity and character and let the rest take care of itself. In that way, not only do we stop reassuring people again and again, but we also become a better person and develop close and meaningful relationships.