the importance of actions over words in relationships
“You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce.”
— Tony Gaskins
In life, we all want to be perceived as someone fun to hang out with, a good friend, or a great partner for the opposite sex to date. Being a good person with our life together is a worthy goal. But here's the catch: not everyone who's drawn to you is on the same level of goodness and respect. That's why it's crucial to pay attention to people's actions rather than just their words.
As the saying goes, “Actions speak louder than words.” This means that what people do carries more weight than what they say. Let's delve deeper into this idea.
Imagine you meet someone, whether it's a potential romantic partner or a friend, and they seem genuinely interested in spending time with you. They express how much they enjoy your company, but here's where actions come into play. Do they consistently show up late for your plans, cancel at the last minute, or expect you to change your schedule without any apology? These are little signs of disrespect, and they matter.
In such situations, it's essential to remember the wisdom shared by Robert Tew: “Respect is earned, honesty is appreciated, trust is gained, and loyalty is returned.” If someone consistently disrespects your time and feelings, they haven't earned your respect. It doesn't matter how sweet their words may be; their actions reveal their true character.
For example, consider a scenario where a friend always cancels plans at the last minute, leaving you feeling frustrated and unimportant. They might apologize and promise to make it up to you, but if this behavior becomes a pattern, it's time to take a step back. Their apologies lose meaning when their actions don't align with their words. It's better to distance yourself from such people because they may be taking advantage of your kindness.
In the world of dating, the same principle applies. You might meet someone who claims to be interested in a serious, committed relationship. They might say all the right things, but if they consistently prioritize their own needs and desires over yours, it's a red flag. Maya Angelou's words come to mind: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” If their actions reveal a lack of consideration and empathy, it's wise to move on and find someone who truly values you.
To sum it up, it's natural to want to be liked and appreciated by others. However, it's equally important to protect your own well-being and happiness. People's words can be sweet and convincing, but their actions reveal their true intentions and character. When you notice signs of disrespect, consistently late arrivals, or a lack of consideration, don't hesitate to distance yourself from those individuals. As Oprah Winfrey wisely said, “Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.” Let go of those who don't appreciate your worth and find those who do. Your life will be better for it.
