the secret to long-lasting love

I came across a touching and heartwarming story some time back. This story beautifully illustrates the importance of the three pillars of a relationship that I previously discussed abiut viz. respect, love, and support.

Here’s how it goes:

A man, much reserved by nature was very hesitant to ask his boss for the raise in the salary. One Friday morning he got up and told his wife, ” I will do it today Darling. I shall ask my boss for a raise in my salary.” As the man came to his office, he was extremely nervous, anxious and very apprehensive all throughout the day to speak up. Late in the afternoon as he approached his boss, finally he gathered the courage to speak up and ask for a raise in his salary. Much to his delight the boss agreed.

The man was on the top of the world and when he came back home, he saw a beautiful dinner table, fine crockery set on the table, beautiful candles lit up. His wife had prepared a festive meal to celebrate the occasion. He guessed someone from the office might have tipped her off and informed her about it. Anyways he got into the kitchen, hugged her, gave her the good news and came and sat down to have his meal. Right there on the table was a card. The man picked up the card and read the contents. The card said, “Congratulations Darling! I knew you would get that salary raise. These things, the dinner table, the crockery, the candles, the fine meal, all of these things are to tell you, how much I LOVE YOU!” Prep by prep the lady served her husband and as she went back into the kitchen finally to bring the dessert, from the pocket of her apron, fell another card unknown to her.

The man picked up the card and as he read the contents of the card, he had tears in his eyes. On the card was written, ” Don’t worry Darling! Even if you did not get that salary raise. you deserve much more than that. This dinner table, this crockery, these fine candles, this fantastic meal, all these things are simply meant to tell you how much I LOVE YOU!”

The love of the wife for her husband was unconditional, and enriched with acceptance. She respected him and his efforts even if the outcomes would not have been as they desired. She was there to provide him all the support that he needed if he would have encountered failure and rejection. She was aware and in alignment with his real value even if the world was not ready to accept it.

She was there to help him heal, she was there for him when he needed her the most, in times of trials and self-doubt. She loved him unconditionally, and believed in him, even if his request for that salary raise would have been rejected.

It’s important that our chosen partner is our cheerleader in victory or defeat. They believe in us and have unconditional and absolute acceptance, respect, love and support for us. When the world rejects us, that person is there to soothe us when we’re defeated, and when the world gives us a standing ovation, that person is there to celebrate our victory and our success. Whatever times we face, whether good or bad, that person is there for us.

The secret to a lasting relationship (and this applies to any kind of relationship) essentially comes down to having someone who respects, loves and supports you with total acceptance regardless of your successes and failures, and being there for them as well, to respect, love and support them with total acceptance regardless of their successes and failures. Unconditional is the magic word.

They love you for who YOU are and you love them for who they are, detached from any wins or losses that either of you experience.