Disclaimer: This essay contains mature content that is unsuitable for children, and for some adults as well. If you are easily offended or are under the age of 18, please do not proceed. Reader discretion is advised.
. . .
Today, September 4th is celebrated as World Sexual Health Day. Each year, the World Association for Sexual Health (WAS) observes this day to bring greater awareness of sexual health, celebrate sexuality, and promote sexual rights. The theme for this year’s observation is Turn it on: Sexual health in a digital world.
It’s wise to know that sexual health is not only restricted to the physical aspects; it also involves the state of mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being regarding sexuality. This is why it’s crucial that we not only embrace our sexuality wholeheartedly but also understand sexual rights and learn proper sexual behaviors.
On this occasion, I’d like to share a meditation from my book Daily Intimacy that emphasizes communicating effectively with your partner and understanding their needs. (Note: Although this passage is primarily directed towards men, even women are encouraged to read it to understand themselves better.)
. . .
Contrary to men who get turned on instantly, women take some time to get aroused and fired up. The current model in society is built around male sexuality and pleasure, thus based on quick penetration and instant orgasms. This is an incorrect way to engage in sex.
Like men, even women have erectile tissue. And there’s more to the clitoris than what meets the eye, as it has a largely unknown network of arousal. If you want to become a better lover and elevate your erotic experience, you need to learn more about it and the proper ways to stimulate it so that your partner feels deeper arousal.
“The longer you build arousal, the more energy you’ll have to ride and play with.”― Sheri Winston, Women’s Anatomy of Arousal
For a woman, arousal takes time; it’s an altered state of consciousness, similar to a trance. Understanding this fact can be a paradigm shift for us. With this new perspective, men can learn to be patient and find ways to deepen this experience for their partners. The most effective way is communicating with your partner and understanding each other’s needs. Distill your quest for arousal into a set of mini-experiments wherein you and your partner understand what works best for each of you. Take time to explore each other’s bodies and figure out the hotspots. Understand what kind of breaths, movements and sounds your partner makes when she’s aroused.
To ensure your partner experiences this alternate state of arousal, choose a comfortable and relaxing place, and carve out a time free of any distractions, electronic or otherwise. A time dedicated to getting in the arousal bubble; a time where you can enjoy each other without any distracting thoughts, worries and negative energies. Make it an occasion where your partner feels at home, relaxed and safe. Once this happens, she will melt into a deeper state of arousal, and ride the waves of pleasure like never before.
. . .
To read more life-changing meditations on human sexuality and desire, grab a copy of my book Daily Intimacy right now.