Unlike computers, our human brain does not store new information in the exact form that it’s presented to us. Our memory extracts the gist of the experience or the interaction and stores it in a way that fits best for us. This helps us avoid any internal conflicts.
We are all unique creatures. Each of us has our own paradigms based on our perception of the world — defined by our upbringing, beliefs, values and experiences — that shape our view of just about everything under the sun. This is the reason two people who witness the same event may have polar opposite opinions.
In other words, our brain has an in-built confirmation bias and it only stores new information in ways that makes the most sense to us. This selective process prevents our brain from getting overloaded with too much sensory input and information.
You must never confuse memory with facts. It’s best to know that your brain does not always provide you information that’s actually true! It only stores data that is consistent with your own narrative.
So, if you’re someone who has low self-worth, your memory will only store information that reinforces your lack of merit and deservedness. Irrespective of what happens in a specific event or situation, your brain will remember only a few key things that confirm your paradigm.
One way to make your brain work for you and not against you is to revisit a memory that involves a set of negative and self-limiting beliefs, and look at it with a fresh pair of eyes and try to gain a more accurate perspective on the event or situation.
Challenge your paradigm and this may help you redefine your narrative. You can even talk with others and get their viewpoints; this will help you assess the situation in a correct manner and see things for what they are, without any deceptive filters.