prioritize happiness over external rewards
“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me ―This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”
― Neil Pasricha, The Happiness Equation
Right from our childhood, many of us have been taught that we can only experience happiness when we achieve something significant i.e. we do substantial amounts of great work, accomplish extraordinary feats, and become a phenomenal success. We’re all programmed with the belief that happiness is something you chase. But this exact mindset is what drives many people to the deep abyss of unhappiness.
The truth is that the equation works the other way around: Intrinsic happiness leads to extrinsic achievement. The best way to consistently do great work and attain sustainable success is to become happy first. External events such as buying a new sports car, getting a raise at work, or visiting a popular destination for vacation only account for 10 percent of personal happiness. The remaining 90 percent actually comes from within and involves perceiving the world in a positive light.
You have to make sure that you’re driven by the right kind of motivators. Rather than doing things because of external goals and rewards or making other people like you, focus on pursuits that you truly love and enjoy. When you let money, admiration, or shiny objects consistently motivate you, you enter a never-ending negative spiral of unhappiness. Even if you reach a big goal, you’ll only experience a few fleeting moments of happiness and achievement, and soon you’ll feel the compulsion of setting and going after another goal or reward.
Setting goals is not a bad thing, but focusing too much on outcomes without taking a pause and evaluating if you’re truly enjoying the journey or not never leads to anything good. There’s no point in chasing happiness that doesn’t last. Rather, it’s much better to start from a place of happiness and engage in things and activities for the sheer joy of doing them.
