the three components of happiness
“What does happiness feel like? We are completely in the present, with no urge to hang on to the past or ruminate about the future; we are right here in the moment, feeling complete. There is a sense of freedom; when we are genuinely happy, we are free from desire and other conflicting emotions. We are free from wanting happiness.”
“A myth we have believed throughout our lives is that we have to ‘get’ happiness, and if we can just get the external details of our lives right, we will be happy. This is not happiness, it is a form of enslavement.”
― Gelong Thubten, A Monk’s Guide to Happiness
It’s a well-known truth that we all want to be happy in our lives. However, before you go further and figure out ways you can be happier, how about we take a step and reflect for a few moments on the notion of happiness? What is happiness exactly? Sure, we’re going to enter the realm of philosophy and spirituality as we ponder upon this, but it’s an essential inquiry that we all must participate in.
If we want to see a change in the external world, we must know our inner selves first. If we want to pursue something in our day-to-day lives, we need to know what we’re looking for. Makes sense, doesn’t it? The discipline of going within and understanding happiness — as esoteric and theoretical as it may sound — can truly bring some real benefits to our lives.
Happiness can be broken down into three main components:
- A sense of fullness: When we feel that we don’t lack anything in our present circumstances, we naturally become happy. We are not looking for things and shiny objects to fill in the void, within or without, and we feel whole and complete, just the way we are. In other words, we experience a feeling of contentment with who we are and what we have — right here, right now.
- Feeling anchored to the present: This means that we’re not pulled away by thoughts about the past or future. Lao Tzu once said, “If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.” Here, we train ourselves to not get entangled in failures and setbacks of the past or uncertainties and worries of the future, and hence guard ourselves against fear, stress, anxiety, and other toxic emotions that steal our precious time, energy, and attention. Our primary focus is the moment we’re experiencing right now.
- A sense of freedom: We don’t let negative emotions and unfulfilled desires imprison and perturb us. Instead, we feel liberated from all sources of unhappiness.
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