“Masculine and feminine aspects exist in all beings. For real passion to occur, there needs to be a ravisher and a ravishee. Sexual attraction is based on sexual polarity. All natural forces flow between two poles. The North and South Poles of the Earth create a force of magnetism. The positive and negative poles of a battery create an electrical flow. The masculine and feminine poles between people create a flow of sexual energy in motion.”
— David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
As we navigate our lives, we often seek companionship and intimacy, forming friendships and sexual relationships that enrich our existence. However, the path to meaningful connections is paved with self-discovery and acceptance. It is only by embracing our true selves that we can foster genuine connections and maintain the spark of attraction.
Authenticity lies at the core of any healthy relationship. Understanding one's identity, both in terms of masculine and feminine energies, is crucial to presenting an honest version of oneself to others. When we have a clear understanding of our dominant natural sexual essence, we are more likely to remain consistent in our behavior and expressions. This consistency is magnetic, drawing people towards us because they see and appreciate the genuineness of our character.
Embracing masculinity or femininity does not imply rigid adherence to gender stereotypes; rather, it's about understanding and embracing our core attributes. Masculine energy emanates certainty, boldness, courage, and a willingness to embrace risks while remaining unperturbed by chaos or disconcerting situations, akin to the steadfastness of a rock or mountain. On the other hand, feminine energy, with its occasional uncertainty, exhibits a soft and emotional nature, inclined towards bonding, connecting, and nurturing relationships, mirroring the unpredictable yet captivating essence of mother nature.
Regardless of gender, individuals may possess either a feminine or masculine core, or they might find a harmonious balance between both aspects. The key to fulfilling sexual interactions lies in the willingness of one partner to embody the masculine polarity while the other embraces the feminine polarity. In doing so, they can experience a deeply satisfying connection with each other. As David Deida points out, “Sexual attraction is based on sexual polarity, which is the force of passion that arcs between masculine and feminine poles.”
When we understand and act in accordance with our dominant natural essence, we naturally facilitate sexual attraction and gain a sense of self-assurance that becomes the foundation of fulfilling relationships.
On the contrary, when we vacillate between conflicting identities or pretend to be someone we are not, we risk creating a facade that ultimately repels our partners. Dishonesty and inconsistency breed discomfort and distrust, leading to a breakdown in the relationship.
To build lasting connections, we must embark on a journey of self-awareness and self-acceptance. For some individuals, this process may involve introspection, seeking guidance from trusted mentors or therapists, and developing a deeper understanding of our emotions and desires. As Carl Jung said, "Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes."
Through this awakening, we can tap into the richness of our authentic selves and embrace our true essence, drawing people who resonate with our energy and values.
All in all, we must understand that authenticity is the bedrock of fulfilling friendships and sexual relationships. By knowing ourselves and embracing our dominant natural sexual essence, we exude a sense of certainty and confidence that captivates others.
It’s crucial that we let go of false beliefs and realize that our authentic selves are worthy of love and connection. By being true to ourselves, we empower ourselves to cultivate meaningful and lasting relationships. As Shakespeare eloquently put it, "This above all: to thine own self be true."
A single strand of spaghetti is called a spaghetto.